ness, some relies on their partner/relationship/marriage before they experience the free gift called HAPPINESS. Though its quite difficult to make a solid decision in order to be happy in life, but i think 80% of people across the globe experience pain because they have created more ways to feel sad than to feel happy and all their hope of happiness are on events they are unable to control. If you structure your happiness on your marriage, husband, wife, siblings, friends, job, education, etc. You can never experience happiness. What we fail to understand in life is that these things i mentioned are all unstable when it comes to deriving joy or happiness from them. The definition of our values, the beliefs we imposed on ourselves and the references we use in shaping our lives are the causes of been happy or not. We all have various interpretations for all our values in life, some people would say until they experience love, they will/can never be happy. In fact their partners might have shown them love according to their own definition, but because they both have different definitions of love, they will never experience love. Some people's rules for love is "if you love me, then you will do whatever I want you to do." Or "if you love me, then I can whine and complain and nag, and you should just accept it." Are these appropriate rules? Hardly! They'd be unfair to anyone you were sharing a relationship with. Some people's rule for handling upset is, "if you care about me, then you leave me alone and let me deal with it my own way." Other people's rule is, "if somebody's upset, and you care about them, you immediately intervene to help them." This creates a tremendous conflict. Both people are trying to accomplish the same thing, which is to respect and care about each other, but their rules dictate different behaviors, and their rules of interpretation will make their actions seem adversarial rather than supportive."So if you ever feel angry or upset with someone, remember, its your rules that are upsetting you, not their behavior." If you are experiencing pain in your marriage/relationship and you really need to be happy, i think i have some question that will give you happiness for the rest of your life. Ask your partner these few questions :
What will it take it take for you to know that our relationship is working?
How often do we have to communicate?
What is necessary?
What has to happen for you to feel loved?
What has to happen for you to feel cared for?
What has to happen for you to be respected?
After asking your partners these questions, please ask him his definition for love, care, happiness, respect and communication. If his/her definition is different from yours, tell him yours and give him your opinion of how both of you can create a new definition for all these feelings and if you both agree on one a definition for each feeling, i guarantee your 98% happiness in your marriage/relationship.
If you find it hard to be happy in life, why cant you of the things you structured your happiness on, don't you think changing what you structure your happiness on is the best? Think of the things that gives you pleasure, what are the things you love doing on a daily basis, things like playing music and singing along, exercising, watching football regardless of the score at the end of the match, meeting peeps across the globe, travelling from one state to the other, tourism, etc. Why cant you structure your happiness on the things you do on a daily basis? By saying "if i sing every morning" i must be happy, "if i watch football" i must be happy, "each time i travel" i must be happy, "if i sleep every evening" i must be happy. Brainstorm yourself and create easy access to happiness, don't wait for someone/something/event/
Are you ready to board this bus of happiness???
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