WHY PEOPLE CHEAT IN A RELATIONSHIP

It is a general word for every individual who at some point have been in a relationship, it is a normal word for men/women, especially the ones who find themselves around people who are always not contended with what they have. Cheat in this context is an act of sharing your emotions among two or more individuals (opposite sex) after a strong commitment must have been made to one person. It includes sexual intercourse and heart to heart conversations.

When I hear or see people use the word cheat to make some clarifications, it makes me feel they know nothing about the word and also have no idea the reasons or motives behind it. It is a word that means so much to you but could turn out to be useless or means nothing to someone else. So many people have this notion that whenever they have a partner that engages in sexual intercourse

with someone else, it’s cheating. Peradventure someone else believes it is when a partner shares his or emotions with the third party which makes him or her cheater.  To a different individual, cheating is when you know you are supposed to do something for them to ignite their joy or happiness and you refuse to do it, it becomes cheating.

So many definitions of cheat but I am going to lay my points on the most used one which is “sleeping or having sex with another person entirely” and then brush on the other ones in style. One thing I want every eye reading this article to understand is that humans are not random creatures and we have reasons for what we do at every point in time. Sometimes we don’t apply generalization in what we do, we do what we do not because of whom we are, but because of what shaped our beliefs and mentality. When you see someone who sleeps with someone else without feeling a single remorse for doing so, then something is wrong. I believe when someone who claim to love someone very dearly, and such person chooses to have sex with someone else knowing that doing so may trigger his or her partner’s negative feelings, then believe me, such person isn’t seeing such act as “cheating”, in fact to him or her, “fun or adventure” is the word. Yes you can say it times without number that it is weird, but that is the simple truth and I will give you a full dose of what am talking about. At some point in our lives, during our childhood, we have all had those things or moments that caused us to do some certain things. The stimuli that allowed us to react the way did. When I was 12 years old, I use to see life as a place to grow and a place to only derive joy in having sex and nothing more. There were so many people around me who did influenced me negatively, this people, caused me to feel differently and thus made me have a different view of life. This mentality shaped my behavior, feelings, and values and thus moved me into a state of believing love doesn’t have anything to do with sleeping with someone else. Not until few years ago the belief got erased.

To some people, sleeping with someone else isn’t cheating and they will never see it as such, yet they love their partners very much that they can’t joke with them for a minute.

Why is this?

Their belief tells them often that nothing is wrong in having sex with someone they are not in a relationship with, and since beliefs influence someone behaviors, you will such people engage in sexual intercourse with people they are not in a relationship with, and yet they never feel remorse. 

As I talk to you today, they still feel they are doing the right thing. People are not their behaviors, their behaviors can and will never nullify the fact that they are humans. This means they can be influenced by experiences or stimuli, mankind is subjected to response to some things and it is of course natural. So when someone is acting in a way you don’t understand, it is not the person’s fault, neither is it your fault. It is the way the person was influenced or brought up when growing up. Brought up in this contest doesn’t necessarily refer to who his or her parents or guardians are or how they trained him or her, it could be anything, anyone or the influence of the environment he or she lived in that triggered the person to think the way they do. 

These set of people believe they can have sex with someone they are not in a relationship and in fact can still go on having this casual sex even when they are in a relationship with someone else whom they love. Some of you may be pondering, asking why I strike you as someone who is in support of cheating, please hear me out, I am not justifying his or her actions for sleeping with someone else, neither do I say he or she is free to have casual sex with someone else while you are both in a relationship. All I am trying to expatiate is for you to know why people cheat on their partners, why /wife is cheating on you. To some people it is not cheat, it is simply fun. 

Funny enough, this happen in relationships where communication has taken a different turn and walking on a different path. Communicating each other’s problems or issues has become a burden to so many partners and that is why they are facing these problems today. When you are in a relationship with such person whom you believe loves you very much but still enjoy having sex with someone else, then it is time to communicate with him or her mentally, emotionally and also verbally. 

You need to make your partner understand what you feel every time you discover he or she is having sex with someone else, talk more on the positive emotions you are likely to experience if he or she stops. Make it known to your partner what exactly you see as cheating; be sure to question your partner on what he or she understands by cheat. Don't assume he or she should know that sleeping with someone else is labeled as cheating. Speak it, pass it, show it and be clear when passing your messages. Communication will change his or her perception of sex and cheat, communicating with your partner creates a sense of certainty of what they need to do to make you happy or feel loved.  

The fact that your partner loves you and that you have successfully hit him or her mentally and emotionally, it makes it easy for such act to DEFINITELY come to an end. But until you communicate your problems in the right way, you will never get the solution to these aforementioned problems.

“SOME PEOPLE CHEAT NOT BECAUSE THEY FEEL THEY ARE CHEATING, THEY CHEAT BECAUSE IT IS FUN FOR THEM, YOU MUST MAKE THEM REALIZE IT IS NOT FOR YOU AND THAT IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL LOVED AND SECURE IF THEY STOP HAVING SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH SOMEONE ELSE.”

On the other hand, when people share their world with the third party, and still think or believe within themselves that they are so much in love with one particular person, they know exactly what they are talking about. 

No!! I am not crazy; I know what I am talking about.

Would you say your definition of love is the most paramount?

I believe you won’t because love does not have a definition except the definition you and I give to it, which simply means you can easily castigate someone else’s definition for love. So if you have a partner who believe love can be shared with two or more people, such partner would never think he or she is cheating on you. That is the more reason I ask people to establish friendship with whomever they want to date in order to know what they are made of and to know why they do what they do. 

Believe me my loved ones; you need to understand it’s the people’s way of reasoning that allows them to do what they do. Communication is the key to end “cheat” in a relationship, not violence.

And lastly, for those who think their partner is cheating on them by not doing the things that causes them to feel happy or joyful. The question is have you had a discussion with your partner stating or explaining the factors that causes you to be happy and joyful unnecessarily. I have been talking about one solution that can erase "cheating" in no time. And that solution is “COMMUNICATION”. 

It is the solution to most problems if applied appropriately, communicate your worries with your partner, and don’t assume he or she knows. Speak out your issues with inner joy believing he or she understands what you are talking about. Doing this alone is like taking your partner along in your life journey to know what must be done to make things right for you. If you then know why your partner cheats, nothing will ever stop you from erasing it. The beauty of every problem is identifying the solution. I have explained to you why people cheat in a relationship, I now challenge you to seek for a solution to the cheating attitude in your relationship.

I CAN ONLY GUARANTEE YOUR SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS IN YOUR MARITAL AND RELATIONSHIP LIFE….