At one point in life, people experience this feeling and they find it very difficult to execute it. I think most people are fond of not being able to identify what’s really happening in their lives. It’s an unknown feeling to a lot of people, a feeling of regret, emptiness, loneliness and guilt. They just can't help it, they are fond of each other, yet they find it easy to break up with each other. I have come to realize the fact that it becomes more difficult for people who have dated or been in a relationship for more than three years to move on
Why do people subconsciously choose not to move on after a break up?
Why do people find it difficult to get someone out of
their mind after a break up?
Why do people go back to their exes after breaking up
with each other?
Why can’t they just stop thinking about each other?
Let me share with you the
causes of why people never seem to move on and then get back together with their
partners after breaking up so many times:-
1. FEAR OF GETTING HURT:
Most partners who have been hurt in their previous relationships are always
frightened when trying to go into a new relationship. They get used to their partner’s way of hurting
them, their nervous system get conditioned to the negative feelings coming in
their previous relationship. The fear of
getting hurt is nothing but a goal blocker. That feeling is a negative feeling
that destroys a person’s motive to take a step towards ones value. So the
moment they get scared of being hurt by the next person they want to go into a
relationship, they will then link great pleasure to their previous partner and
automatically call or label it “LOVE” which allows them go back to their
old relationship.
2. MIXED FEELING: This is also one of the causes of why
most people seem not to move on with their lives after breaking up with their previous partners. Mixed feeling may be a combination of positive and
negative, happy and sad, bitters and sweet.
People do have mixed feelings towards their previous relationships
because they couldn’t identify the feelings or emotions they were experiencing. Mixed feeling sends mixed messages to the brain and thus prompts the brain to produce mixed reactions to certain things. That’s one of the reasons why people often do things that seems
to be unrealistic when they claim to be in love not knowing they are having a
mixed feeling towards the relationship itself. They feel happy today because they
remember their ex has been wonderful and loving to them, and they feel sad tomorrow
because they see a friend who cheats on his/her partner and immediately
remember the last time their ex cheated on them which might allow mixed emotions to step into their head and later get them confused with what step to take. So what
am saying in essence is that a mixed feeling can hinder someone from moving
forward to the next level and can also make someone get back with his/her ex
after so many times.
3. LONELINESS: Loneliness
is an unpleasant feeling in which a person feels a strong sense of emptiness
and solitude resulting from inadequate levels of social relationships. Loneliness is a negative feeling but also can be a positive signal, I mean a signal that causes you to disrupt such lonely feeling. Like go out to see friends, and also attend events. We don’t know that
emotions are our guidelines and they represent great things if we are to restructure of what things means to us. We often think of emotion as a feeling
we must run away from, a feeling of negativity, meanwhile emotions are gifts from God. Emotions are like our angels, they send signals to us to take some
steps that helps us move forward either in our relationship or in life generally. But mankind rather see it differently; we
flee from it and then allow it lead us to things we don’t expect. It’s part of the
reasons why most people run back their partners over and over again even if the
relationship/partner is worth leaving for good. The moment loneliness steps in, they immediately start thinking about their former boyfriends, they remember what they've shared together and since they don't have anyone to go to, they will pick up their phone, put a call through to that ex of theirs and make it happen again. Loneliness is one of those reasons people go back after a breakup.
4. UNIDENTIFIED
FEELING: I think this is so common in
this 21st century. Most people are fond of using the word “LOVE” to justify
any feeling they are experiencing on a daily basis. Once we don’t know how we feel, we automatically trigger ourselves into a state of love
despite the fact that we can’t really say or identify what we are feeling at
that moment. We often mistake lust for love, content for
satisfaction, happiness for fun etc; It becomes clearer to me that unidentified
feeling is now a big problem, it is what lead people out of their relationship respectively and mislead them back their previous partners.
In a nutshell, the points aforementioned are simply the
causes of why you jump back to your ex and thus often make quick
decisions for you to do what you never intended to do. There are ways you can overcome all these
points if you truly want to make a difference in your life.
Why are you afraid of been hurt?
Why the mixed feeling?
Why are you lonely?
Why can’t you identify your own feeling?
The first step you need to take is to identify what you
really want in a relationship; a lot of people can’t figure why they are in a
relationship. All they do is go into a relationship without setting a
relationship goal for themselves. You forget the fact that you need to be in a positive state in order to discover the true quality of your relationship.
If you don’t know what you need to go through for you to be happy, sad, loved,
cared for, respected, in a fun or pleasurable mode. Then I am here to say
to you that you haven’t set your relationship goals appropriately.
Take your journal or diary and right down what you want
experience in your personal relationship. Brainstorm yourself in a way that
will make you think or reason in a more resourceful way and right down what you need to
experience for you to know that the relationship is going on as planned. After
righting them down; create a definition for each value you have in your journal and
meditate them till you get them into your head and make them work for your benefit or advantage. Once you do all these, you will discover your needs and expectations
in a relationship and most importantly find it difficult to go into a relationship that will cause you pain.
NOTE: MAKE SURE YOUR VALUES FOR PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP ARE
ACHIEVABLE BY AN OPPOSITE GENDER.
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